Often Your Great Ministry Grows from Your Greatest Weakness

Once upon a time, I heard the phrase (or a phrase so similar that I adapted it to this):  Often your greatest ministry grows from your greatest weakness.

That phrase has haunted me for many, many years.  If I own up to the truth of that phrase, I must share with the world my greatest weakness.  I think truly effective leaders are honest with others, willing to share their vulnerability.  So, why am I so scared of this blog?  This is it.

I have lived my life with minimal regret.  There are a a couple opportunities I did not take that I wish I had, but even more catastrophic are the opportunities I did take that I never should have.  If you recall, I said in my first post that I made bad friends in elementary school.  These "friends" are the ones that introduced me to my greatest nemesis - pornography.  It's hard to image the destruction that pornography has had on me -- harmed friendships, fears of rejection and inadequacy, missed opportunity, and most devastating, severed fellowship with my Lord, Jesus Christ.

Men claim it as a "hidden sin."  One that does not harm others -- often rationalizing to ourselves that by being here we are protecting others from ourselves.  It doesn't make sense, but how often do rationalizations make sense?   In our darkness, we imagine something exciting and live a private life that makes little of the one in front of us.

I John 1:6-9 says:

"If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.  But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.  If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

These are familiar verses, but I find that in my history as a man I have not lived the truth of them well.  Just as mold and mildew grow in dark places, so does sin.  When vulnerability is present, sin is brought to light, and killed.

I praise the Lord that he protected my virginity!  There is much that has not been done.  But, in the same breathe, there is much damage that is hard to forget.  Images are hard to erase.  Wrong views of women are are hard to change.  Wrong views of relationship are hard to change.  It's a slippery slope.

There is truth in the saying:

     Sin will take you further than you want to go.

          It will keep you longer than you want to stay,

               and it will cost you more than you want to pay.

Could I have ever imagined as a kid that what I was doing would still cause struggle as an adult?

Thankfully, there is freedom in repentance.  There is acceptance and forgiveness at the cross.  God, through the sacrifice of his Son, chooses to extend eternal life and purity to us!  So, I choose to rest on the cross, trusting that God is adequate and I am not.

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In closing, what have I learned through my struggle with pornography?  Here are some thoughts I hope helps you along the way.

FLEE!

II Timothy 2:22 says:

"Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

I like what the NASB version says.  "Flee from youthful lust."  Joseph understood this in Genesis 39.  At the risk of looking like a fool, he ran from Potiphar's wife, even leaving his cloak in her hands.  I imagine that as a man he understood he did not have the strength to stand there resolute and say no.

So what does that look like for you and me?  How do we stand against sin and temptation?

•  This is obvious, but not always realized -- cultivate a relationship with God.  Pray.  Read the Bible.

Less obviously...

•  Get a hobby.

•  Go for a run.

•  Have a trusted friend you can call to go to coffee or ice cream with.

The key is to change your location.  Reengage your brain in something else!  Which ties into this...

Don't dwell on it!

This really is no surprise, but often not how we respond.  We (or at least I) often assume, "if I struggle with this, I better start a Bible study, read a book, or talk to someone about this."  Please do not get me wrong -- all these responses are healthy and necessary responses.

Consider this though:  I tell you, "don't think about a pink elephant."  As soon as I say that, what are you thinking about?

With space and healthy boundaries in place in your mind, you can begin to process what your sin is doing to you, how it is effecting your community, and how you can combat it.  I find, at least for myself, that these healthy responses are just too difficult when being blinded by the closeness of my sin.

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What are some ways that you have found to combat the sin in your life?